004 What's Underneath: Dealing with Garments

Understanding our underwear

Let what’s unproductive and hurtful drop at the feet of your unarmored self.
— Brene Brown

Notes:

Garments: as active, believing Mormons, many of us saw them as an outward expression of an inward commitment–a commitment to our families, our faith, and our God. Even further, garments mark you as part of the “in-group” and help to solidify your identity as a faithful believer.

But what happens when you undergo a faith transition and your feelings towards garments change? As you deconstruct your belief in Mormonism, it’s likely you’ll experience conflict about how to move forward: What will happen if I stop wearing garments? Am I ready for other people to notice? And where in the world do I buy underwear now?

In this episode, we share our individual experiences as we stopped wearing garments, discuss the ways we dealt with our sometimes complicated emotions surrounding our choices, and give some practical suggestions of things you may want to consider as you make your own decisions about what to do with your garments.

TAXONOMY

  • The garment milestone is about so much more than underwear.

  • Stopping wearing garments is a public, outward sign of what is often a very private, internal struggle with your belief or orthodoxy, and it can be scary to expose this personal conflict to the public eye.

  • The decision to stop wearing garments lays bare the struggle of accepting a change in the way you relate to Mormonism (and therefore your identity), and choosing authenticity and honesty over a sense of security and belonging to your tribe.

  • The ties to temple rituals, and covenants especially, can be a source of anguish and guilt.

  • Giving yourself authority to make this choice can be a big stumbling block for many people.

  • For many women (and some men), this change can bring about both positive and negative changes in your body image and clothes shopping experiences–mostly positive, in our opinions.

ABSOLUTE ESSENTIALS

  • It’s absolutely normal to feel uncertain about how to approach your garment-wearing choices; for some of us, they have been a part of our daily lives for half our lifetimes!

  • There’s no race to see who can “post-Mormon” the fastest; take whatever time you need to examine your feelings about garments and take your personal circumstances into consideration.

  • Trust yourself and your own wisdom to make choices you feel are best for your life.

  • On the flip side of the coin, if you know you’re ready to stop wearing garments, then trust yourself and shop for some new underwear–a few recommendations follow below!

RESOURCES MENTIONED

This is nowhere near a comprehensive list, but here are a few underwear options we have either tried ourselves or that have been recommended to us:

Help for the dreaded “chub rub”:

For women:

For men:


Thanks for listening!

Do you have a comment, a question you’d like us to answer on the podcast, or a unique perspective to add about this topic? We’d love to hear from you! Please send us an email or comment below.

And if you’ve found this episode helpful, please consider leaving us a rating or review on Apple Podcasts. Ratings and reviews boost our visibility and help people find us.

But the most helpful thing you can do is share this episode with someone you know! So please share the love and pass on our links.

And don’t forget to subscribe in Soundcloud or your favorite podcast app!

Oliver ChristensenComment